Archive for August 31st, 2006




From the Paris-sur-Mizouri Post.

Gripping the world’s attention is the double assassination of First-President Jean-François Young and the Empress Gacudai in Lyons-sur-Mizouri, Louisianne.

We know the following facts (as released by the Gendarmes and Republican Guard of Louisianne):

Young and the Empress died within 25 minutes of being shot.

Numerous arrests have been made, but no formal charges have yet been filed.

Reports suggest there may have been at least 2 shooters, and a police canvas of the area has uncovered three (3) different types of casings to date. One is confirmed to come from a NAL military rifle. This gives no credence to rumors of NAL involvement, as these rifles have been sold as Military Surplus for the better part of 20 years.

Citizens interviewed in and around Quiuxu Plaza have claimed anywhere from 2-5 shooters, but all agree there were at least two.

Current suspects in questioning include a man claiming to be an FLDS partisan, a disgruntled Alta-Californio farmer, an Ezoan national and three men from Les Plaines.

President Young will lie in state in the atrium of the National Assembly beginning Friday, September 1st, and the funeral will take place Monday, September 4th, in the morning.