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Newsday in Review: Aftermath

2006/08/29

11 Fructidor CCXIV 17:05 LST
Lyons-sur-Mizouri

In the city of Lyons-sur-Mizouri, along the shores of the Mizouri today, President Jean-François Young was assassinated and Empress Aico of Japan fatally wounded in an attack by what some believe to be an Alta Californian national. Other reports suggest that it was an attack by a Japanese citizen or citizens from the island of Ezo. It is unclear at the present time whether President Young or the Empress were collateral damage to the other’s assassination, or if it was indeed a dual assassination. Police are eagerly pursuing all leads at this time.

28 August, 2006 (11 Fructidor CCXIV) 23:10 NALST
New Amsterdaam

Lawrence Koenig Show Transcript:

“His death is a sad thing. He was a good man, even with them decimals and eek-yous. It’s a serious situation, for sure. And I make no light of it, but I tell thee, Larry, it’s dark in there.”

“Dark how, Mr. Sessions?”

“I’ll tell thee, Larry. It’s a cause t’them Blue Martians. Young wasn’t listening to their demands any longer, and I tell thee, they killed him for’t. You make a deal with them aliens, and you’d best keep it, I tell thee. Proof right here, today.”

12 Fructidor CCXIV 8:00 LST
Lyons-sur-Mizouri

Preliminary information has been leaked by investigators that there is a possible connection to the Progressive-Conservatives in a continuance of the Watergap Scandal that so rocked the NAL in recent years.

Additional information suggests that it could be an Alta Californian with a grudge, the same that tried to assassinate President Young in January.

Investigators in Japan say that this is either a move by Ezoan anti-monarchists against the Empress Gacudai, or the Yacuza in retribution for her Anti-Pegre legislation.

Further investigations are ongoing.

12 Fructidor CCXIV 9:30 LST
Lyons-sur-Mizouri

A young man from Les Plaines, a young Hervé Dieudonné Deschamps was arrested yesterday following the shootings, but after further investigation appears to have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mr. Deschamps had come to Louisianna to buy a rifle for hunting due to the cheaper prices and lower taxes. While in the shop he heard of the visit of President Young and the Empress, and wishing to see them went out to watch them pass by. Once passed, he returned to the shop, gathered his purchase and began walking away, only to be arrested within a few blocks.

His name has been cleared and he has returned home to Les Plaines.

12 Fructidor CCXIV 10:30 LST
Télé-1 Toulouse, Louisianna

Thomas Horatio la Chappelle, renowned TV commentator from Louisianna announced on his show today his predictions for the conspiracy theories that will abound in the next hours following the double-assassination yesterday.

“I predict that these are the possibilities bound to become ‘gospel’ to conspiracy theorists within the next 48 hours:

* Mitterand’s party did it.
* The Yacuza did it.
* Those folks from East Primorye did it.
* Someone in Chancellor Aldendorf’s party was behind it.
* The Louisianna gendarmerie did it.
* The Bushes did it — after all they did everything else.

I’m not saying that any of them are correct. I haven’t researched the issue, and I’ll leave that to those who do it best, the Gendarmes. But I’m ’rounding up the usual suspects.’ I hope we’ll eventually figure out who did it, hopefully before the end of my lifetime.”

12 Fructidor CCXIV 12:00 LST
Paris-sur-Mizouri

Speaking from secure locations, Geoffroi Gastinois and the other members of the Council addressed Louisianne today.

“Our country was shocked yesterday,” Gastinois said, “but I say to you that our country is challenged at home and abroad: that it is our will that is being tried and not our strength; our sense of purpose and not our ability to achieve the course that President Young has set for us.”

“Until a new First-President is elected, I will do my best. The Council will do their best. That is all we can do. We ask for your help-and God’s.”

Speaking from Saint-Onge, Marie-Claire Gildersleeve added, “We live in a world that has narrowed into a neighborhood before it has broadened into a brotherhood. We must be careful in the next weeks, months and years as we come to terms with this assassination and what it means for the security of our nation and the world if a political party can do as it is suggested the Progressive-Conservatives of the North American League did.”

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