Archive for July, 2006


New Amsterdam Times, Editorial:


Damon Ratcliffe, guest commentator from the Lyons-sur-Mizouri “Etoile”

Governments in the west, watch out. The times of colonialism are, evidently, far from over. In today’s Warsine Life (Wita Warsinie), a story announced that a Governor-General has been appointed for the RTC Occupied Zone of South Florida.

Venedic West Africa is ruled by a Governor-General. Are we to have a Venedic South-Florida? As a former Floridian, this makes me cringe. I was hopeful that we might actually see peace in the region. As nice as Louisianna has been in my sejour of 25 years, I would like to return to the land of my birth.

As it stands we’ll have competing forces in the Caribbean Basin. If the government the RTC establishes is as weak and inefficient as their occupation force has been, there will soon be a power-vacuum and only a matter of time before another junta fills the gap and we revisit Florida-Caribbea and the horrors it stands for.

It’s a good thing I’m not General-Moderator. I’d declare an invasion today and secure the whole of the peninsula. The last thing we need is a renewed colonialism. That ship has sailed. It’s time to support the Irish plan of a highly decentralized federal government of South Florida.

Floridians chafe under the rule of strangers. Despite all the good news that makes it to international light, it has been tough going for the Irish, and only in recent months have the Floridians come to trust them to honor their word. When the Irish bow out gracefully, and West South Florida comes to its own, what will Veneda face? Even the casual observer can see that Floridians know how to fight.

While I’m drinking myself blind tonight I’ll raise a glass to Aldendorf and his bumbling, misguided government. With the failure looming ahead of them, they’ll need all the well-wishing they can get.


Damon Ratcliffe has written several guest columns for the Times, and is currently a guest professor of journalism at Nieuw Amsterdam University.


A Bridal Shower to Remember (VANITY FAIRE)


BOSTON, Massachussets

July 17, 2006

A gala event will unfold one week from tonight in the grand ballroom of the five-star Hotel Marlowe. Princess Aquico of Micasa, cousin of the reigning Emperor of Japan will host an exclusive Bridal Shower event, inviting the heads of royal families, dignitaries and some of her select friends.

When she first appeared in Boston, few knew her station in life, and she was quick to make friends. It was only after she garnered attention with her high-profile engagement to Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne, Prince and King in Exile of France and Louisianna that her title of Princess was known.

The event is expected ot last all day, with luxury spa treatments for the attendees, and it is rumored that a good number of the Japanese Imperial family will attend, as well.

Vanity Faire has been given exclusive rights to cover this event, and will publish a special edition just covering the incredible events of this spectacular event.


The Burning Ruins of Salt City



July 10, 2006

Today, much of Salt City lays in burning ruins. On July 9th, militants of the FLDS descended upon the city, setting it ablaze, and abducting the women and young girls. Anyone who stood in the way of the terrorists were brutally murdered or mutilated. They also attacked religious structures, including the Iglesia de San Lázaro, Convento de San Fermín, and the Capilla de San Pedro de Galilea, the original Catholic church in Salt City. Several monks were found murdered, others were found missing eyelids and lips. The nuns at the Convento de San Fermín were taken.

“It’s frightening, until now they were more like one of the gangs which pass through here from time to time, but this time they’ve gone too far. It’s disgusting what these perverted pigs have done. They should be hanged publicly for this atrocity. My brother’s wife and his daughter were taken like hunting tropies. Fortunately my wife and I were visting relatives in Las Vegas but out house is in ashes.” said Porfirio Murrieta.

There have been widespread protests and calls throughout Alta California, Montrei, and even Tejas for the execution of the terrorists. “We must stop these people. For too long the government and local authorities have had their hands tied trying to control the region. It’s time to take action.” said Rosario Sevilla.

Others blame the government for what they say is inaction. “For decades, the government has forgotten us, leaving us with the bare minimum of protection while it fought Tejas in the southland. Now that the war with Tejas is over, where is our salvation?” asked Joaquin Murrieta.

Survivors were taken to Ciudad Galilea and treated for injuries at the city hospital. The government has begun to increase fortification of the city, and installing military checkpoints outside of the city and nearby towns.

Territorial Governor Rodrigo Vazsquez commented “We need all the help we can get from the federal government. These pedophiles must be stopped. It’s time the government of Alta California step in and try to control these people and other groups like them rather than just taking a defensive stance.”

President Schwarzenegger has called for increased military presence in Deseret citing the possibility that these attacks could increase. “These are not just murders and abductions. These are an offense to the Californio people, they are crimes against humanity. I would like to extend a call to our neighbors for help. We will accept any aid offered, as this incident could inflame areas even outside of the so called Deseret region.”

President Schwarzenegger is expected to meet with President Young of Louisianne later this week.


Louisiannan Support to Alta California


Paris-sur-Mizouri, LOUISIANNE

20 Messidor, CCXIV (10 July 2006)

President Jean-François Young announced today the support of Louisianne’s recently acquired Spretu fighters and zeppelins, should Alta California choose to accept them.

There has been no response for Alta California as yet. Analysts and pundits alike have commented on the change in the relationship between Louisianne and Alta California. It was only a few years ago that Louisianne proceeded to bomb what is Alta Californian territory as they sought to bring an end to domestic terrorism. Fortunately for Louisianne, Alta California was embroiled in the cold war along the Rio de Sangre at the time, and gave no thought to the bombing missions.

Some pundits would suggest that President Young and the government in general are being much more conciliatory now that Alta California has shown its mettle against Tejas and could launch a full-scale war against Louisianne if they so chose.

More conservative analysts suggest that Mr. Young is treating Alta California as an equal, and as such is offering aid in an area where Louisianne has a strong expertise.

It is expected that Alta California will accept the help from Louisianne to quell the trouble in the border region.

Salt City Still Burns

Salt City is still burning and smoldering as looters and rioters proceed to destroy what was left by the FLDS raiders. With massive thunderstorms and high winds predicted for later this evening, a firestorm is highly possible.

Surviving Ministry leadership has issued a call to its membership to withdraw from Salt City and into Abundance, Kayston and Ranchville, its northern enclaves. Joining the exodus to the south are most of the citizens of Río Jordán, another Ministry settlement. Most refugees of Salt City have been set up in a tent-city near the fruit groves of Ciudad San Benito along the bench of Monte Timpanogosa,
under protection from the Mission de San Benito de Nursia.

Ministry leaders have spent the day in negotiations with governor Rodrigo Vasquez. While the negotiations are proceeding behind closed doors, a prior point of contention has been put aside; Ministry officials have agreed to allow other missions to be constructed in or near Ministry settlements throughout the region.


Salt City in Flames!


Great Basin Territory (Deseret), ALTA CALIFORNIA

July 9, 2006

Salt City is in flames. In a concerted attack of the Ouaren Gough and his band of militant “apostles” and disciples, the FLDS militia swept down on the settlement of Salt City near the shores of the Great Salt Lake, killing men and women, destroying homes, farms, and focused on religious structures, including The Bowery of the New and Living Ministry of Jesus Christ of Modern Saints. The Bowery to the Ministry was a precursor to a Temple like that of Solomon in Israel, according to inside sources.

Gough and his band gathered up all the young women they could find, as they are reputed to practice polygamy with a penchant for child-marriages, where young girls, barely of teen years, and often younger are wed to 40 year old men.

“The are pedophiles of the worst kind,” Territorial Governor Rodrigo Vasquez said in his offices in the Mission de San Pedro de Galilea, on a bench overlooking the waters of the Lago Galilea.

“This man has escalated his violent attacks since he usurped power in his cult. They seek out the humble monks who have worked so long with the indians and mutilate or kill them.”

Governor Vasquez is mounting armed groups to guide the survivors of the Ministry at Salt City to Ciuidad Galilea, the de facto capital of the region. Additional supplies and troops are being sent from the more populous regions of Alta California to restore the peace and end the crisis.

The Louisiannan government has offered the service of military strategists to help the Alta Californian government in the death or capture of Ouren Gough and his band. As yet, there has been no response from the government in San Diego.


News from Tampa


Tampa, Irish Peacekeeping Zone, South Florida

July 10, 2006

The new proposed flag of South Florida was revealed today*, to mixed review. Sharing colors with Florida-Caribbea, (red, white and blue) but styled on the flag of Castile and Leon, the flag has served as a unifying force for some, for others, only contention.

Juan de Azevedo of Punta Gorda is for the flag. “It’s beautiful. It reminds of the good that did exist in Florida-Caribbea, and the better that happened with Castile and Leon. It’s a sign of a new future.”

Laura Zavala of Tampa disagrees. “It brings back the tyranny. I think that once the Erdekans and Irish leave we’ll be facing another series of Juntas. The only time someone has cared about Florida was under Jaime Bush’s rule.

The proposed South Florida Confederation is proceeding apace, with several prospective member states moving toward autonomy, and the well established Republica Conchesa is completely protected by local Floridians.

Surprisingly, progress has been made in Orlando, but mostly due to aid from East Florida to their Orlando cousins. Only reports of shanty towns in the RTC zone manage to reach news outlets and the RTC occupation force as well as the RTC government remain quiet on the issue. Reporters are routinely blocked as they try to pass from the Irish to RTC zones.

* – The Flag can be found here: