Archive for July, 2006

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The Bridal Shower of the Century (VANITY FAIRE)

2006/07/31

Bright lights, red carpet, and hundreds of beautiful women. It sounds more like a movie screening, but this was the gala bridal shower of Princess Aquico of Micasa.

The guest list read like a who’s who, with famous persons coming from around the world. Among the stars, royals, politicos and nobles were many from the League of Noble Emigrees, including Nicola Vlas-Florea. Invitations were sent to the royal houses of Europe, however few actually attended, although many sent their warmest personal regards and fine gifts.

Surprise attendees were Anaïs Michelle Bouvier Young, First Lady of Louisianna and Anne-Laure, her daughter, a college friend of Princess Aquico.

When questioned about her attendance, Mme Young proudly announced, “Our son Frankie and daughter Anne-Laure have made good friends with Antoine II and Aquico. It’s only fitting that we support their fine friends in this happy occasion. We wish them all the best on behalf of Louisianna.”

The eight hour affair included spa treatments, dancing, fine dining and a cultural showcase by the Ainu people of Japan.

Articles in this special edition include…

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Labor Leader Arrested

2006/07/29

9 Thermidor CCXIV (July 28, 2006)

Shrèveport, Saint-Onge, Louisianne

The private residence of Jacques Chevalier was raided today by Louisiannan Gendarmes. While many of the staff were arrested, M. Chevalier was no where to be found. After extensive searching a secret passage was discovered, leading to an underground car-park filled with M. Chevalier’s fleet of cars.

Later that afternoon the elusive M. Chevalier was cornered near the Tejan border and arrested on charges of bribery, embezzlement and money laundering. This bold move according to an anonymous source has been years in the planning and was initiated by Prefect Gildersleeve.

Reprisals for M. Chevalier’s arrest have been near immediate as government offices in Baton Rouge were attacked, strafed with bullet-fire. Similar attacks were brought against the City-Hall in New Orleans.

M. Chevalier will be arraigned by closed circuit television early Monday. As he is a flight risk, many suspect he will be held without bail, and his arraignment will be held via closed-circuit television.

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Tejas Unrest

2006/07/28

July 26, 2006
SANTA FE

Santa Fe’s downtown district was flooded with a small group of protesters who have come out against the proposed merger of Credit Louisiannaise and tbe Banco Nacional de Tejas. Most are locals who are against the idea of any attachment to Louisianna, however some are ex-officials at the bank, laid-off as the merger has proceeded toward the close date later this year.

This has brought up renewed questions as to the legality of the merger, but the Parliament and the Solms-Braunfels have supported it whole-heartedly, feeling that it will be a boon to the otherwise crippled economy of Tejas.

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Ouaren Gough speaks out

2006/07/28

July 27, 2006

Ouaren Gough has announced through a recording that was delivered to an Oregonian news office near the Serpentine River that “this war will be unending. God is with us and we will fight to the end.”

He went on to further say, “Hostility toward Alta-California is a religious duty, and we hope to be rewarded for it by God … I am confident that faithful Saints throughout Deseret will be able to end the legend of the Alta-Californio rule.”

Gough threatened reprisals against Alta-Californios, saying, “Every Californio is an enemy to us. We will decimate them.”

Speaking of their rights to the lands of Deseret, Gough made it clear that martyrdom was not something he or any other FLDS feared. “In our religion, there is a special place in the hereafter for those who participate in a war protecting their homes, their wives, children, and religion. We will be at the right hand of God, right next to Captain Moroni.” Behind him in psuedo-hebraic script is what mormonism specialist identified a “title of liberty”, representing the cloak that was written on by Captain Moroni, a righteous general that defeated oppressors through the grace of God against great odds.

Regional analysts agree that this war will not end any time soon.

–UPDATE–

In a second video, Ouaren’s brother and second in command, Abel Gough stood forth to demand reprisals against all non-FLDS in the region, quoting from 1 Samuel, “Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.”

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Louisiannan Support to Alta California part 3

2006/07/28

July 23, 2006

While the Ministry members celebrated their “Pioneer Day”, celebrating the arrival of their ancestors from Louisianna, President Jean-François Young and Arnoldo Schwarzenegger met in Tremble, Alpes-Argentés today to discuss the scope of the insurgence led by Ouaren Gough.

Dirigibles with Spretu fighters and officers from Louisianna serving as military advisors have arrived. The first regiments of Alta-California’s armies have begun arriving via the desert road that passes through Las Vegas.

July 24, 2006

A major air strike against the FLDS stronghold of Riu Verde has destroyed the FLDS temple and church headquarters, as well as stockpiles of weapons, some of which is reported to have been chemical in nature. Clashes in Scipio and Panguitch between Alta Californio forces and FLDS have resulted in large numbers of casualties for the FLDS, and rumors of rape of surviving women has been propagated. The government in San Diego is investigating these claims.

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IB: SNORING FRANKIE? Pt. 2

2006/07/21

BOSTON EXPOSITOR
July 12, 2006
Boston, MASSACHUSETTS

ERRATA

The original story about Frankie Young and Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne made it appear that Antoine II was on a date without his fiancée, Princess Aquico of Micasa. This was not the case and the princess was in attendance at the club. She was not arrested with the group, but remained behind and contacted Louis-Antoine Bourbon-Le Moyne who was instrumental in getting the legal air cleared.

The Expositor regrets an intimation of infidelity or indiscretion on the part of M. Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne.

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IB: SNORING FRANKIE?

2006/07/20

BOSTON EXPOSITOR
July 10, 2006
Boston, MASSACHUSETTS

Onlookers were shocked as a troop of SNORist soldiers marched from their limousine into Costume Night at Plush, one of the hottest clubs in Boston. Among the crowd? Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne and his, some would say, lap-dog, Frankie Young, son of Louisiannan First-President Jean-François Young.

The group was raucous and spoke with thick Russian accents the whole evening, but were otherwise well-behaved in this upscale club. The furor ignited when the group were confronted at 2:00 AM, NEST outside the club by a local group of Anti-Snorists who proceeded to taunt and otherwise harass the college students as they waited for their limo.

According to reports, the taunts escalated, becoming more and more directed at the Prince in Exile and Young and their dates. When one of the drunken Anti-Snorists made a grab for one of the female companions Young threw a punch, and a general fight broke out, and it was only ended by the arrival of local constables who arrested the entire group.

Young was released on his own recognizance as were his compatriots when the investigation proved there was no fault on their parts. Calls from Anti-SNOR groups across the NAL and Louisianne have requested that Young apologize personally for his distasteful choice, but to present only a family spokesman has expressed the family’s apologies.

This is not unexpected, as Frankie’s father, Jean-François Young was known to be a carouser of women and general trouble-maker in his college days, being arrested for disorderly conduct several times, yet each time being released on his own recognizance.