Archive for May, 2006


Graft Investigation Turns Deadly


IBAP: Baton Rouge, Louisianne

3 Prairial, CCXIV (May 22, 2006)

MP Guillaume Fitzjeffer and his family were found dead today in their suburban Baton Rouge estate. M. Fitzjeffer was the focus of intense investigation for the last two weeks following a seizure of nearly 20,000£NAL, found in bundles of 2,000£ in the crisper of his refrigerator, among the lettuce.

“It’s almost comical,” commented one of the investigators to our IBAP newscrew. “I’ve heard of money called lettuce, dough, a lot of things. I never thought I’d see it taken so literally.”

While initial review of the events suggests this gore were a multiple murder-suicide, neighbors and close friends have come forward claiming that M. Fitzjeffer had never owned a personal weapon, and that the gun found in his home was a plant, either by the real killers or investigators.

Investigators are also investigating leads that Fitzjeffer was laundering Tejan money in return for a share in some Tejan or NAL oil company. Only further investigation will tell. This brings a somber tone to the near-furor that has existed in Louisianne as the Prefects have done extensive house-cleaning against graft. Neither Prefect Marie-Claire Gildersleeve or First-President Young was available for comment.


Porto Rico Government Shut Down!


IBAP: PORTO-RICO May 1, 2006

Between chronic mismanagement from the Florida-Caribbea War of 2004 until today and legislative inaction, the government of Porto-Rico is now facing bankruptcy, and has shut down all non-emergency services. At present only hospitals and security forces remain active.

Legislators have opposed any form of sales tax or increase of the tax rate. When plans were brought forward to seek a reconstruction loan, they were immediately shot-down.

Last week and again today protests were held to demand that the legislators reach an agreement that would allow the children to return to school and the government to again function.

A public opinion poll among the protestors brought clear the situation: “I’m afraid of anarchy. We’ve seen what happened in Saint-Domingue and the massive effort that it’s taken, is taking to get them back on their feet,” said Anibal Acevedo. “I don’t want that for my Porto-Rico, none of us do.”