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Newsday, Louisianne, 15 Fructidor CCXII

2004/09/02

15 Fructidor, CCXII

Port-au-Prince, St. Domingue

BATTEN THE HATCHES!

Louisiannan and other peacekeeping forces have spent the week urging the locals to ‘batten down the hatches’ as the latest in this years furacanos beats its way to slam into the RTC held Southeast Florida. Most have been happily complying with the requests, and order is the general rule, even in the newly secured French Zone.

St. Louis, St. Louis, Louisianne

A NEW PRESIDENT

Hilary Rodham Claintaun smiled and waved to her cheering supporters from the St. Louis Parliament as the long political trail ended in success. Moments before she had received a concession visit from Populist Michel Huckabée. Richard Alouicious Gépard declined to make the traditional show of support to the newly elected leader. Amidst cheers she took a stand on the stand of office as Priest Robert Delacroix administered the Oath of office.

Now begins the coordination period as the affairs of the Prefectoral office change hands. Most pundits say that it won’t take too long, as Hilary seemed to have been running the office since the beginning.

Pamplona, Nouvelle Navarra, Louisianne

ATTEMPT AGAINST WEATHER SATELLITE

Alta Californios who had been granted tourist visas to visit the International Geyser Park were apprehended as they tried to breach the CNEL launch facility early yesterday morning. “We won’t let you launch that device of evil!” they screamed. “We know what Louisianne plans!” another shouted. “They will never take the Deseret! This is a spy satellite! We will stop the threat! We will not lose our homes!”

Authorities in San Diego were unavailable to comment on events, but a prepared press release stated that most likely these persons had been victims of the Deseret Militia, and were most likely swayed by past behaviors of Louisianne.

Jean-Louis Cattin spoke calmly and quietly against the accusations that todays launch was a spy satellite. “This is the long planned weather satellite built by the Bureau Météorologique National. It is not a spy satellite, there is no need for spy satellites. The allegations that Louisianne plans an invasion of Alta Californian land is preposterous. We would simply offer purchase of the land, as we did with Tejas. We invite Alta Californian officials to come and verify for themselves the honesty of our efforts, should they desire it.”

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